Summary:
Tommy Wilhelm was not quite an actor in his day, but an extra. He now lives in Hotel Gloriana on the 23rd floor. Although usually active and a morning person, on this particular day, he felt uneasy, as if something distrubptive was going to happen.He haven't had much of and luck in his younger years when he tried to unsuccessfully to become an actor or a buisnessman; he even lost everytime he gambled.The relationship between his father and him was very strained. It seemed to him no matter what he did, his father was never impressed, especially since the confessions he told his father were usually failures. Although he favored Literature I in his college days, he had lied about graduating from Penn State when in reality, he had left school before sophomore year; the only one without an education in his family. This was another failure that shamed his father who resorted to telling lies of his son's successes; Wilhelm knew this, and it made him uncomfortable. He had also disappointed his mother by getting into arguments with her over lies. After thinking about his cousin and success, he realized that successful people were often cynical. He thinks back of the time when he met his scout named Maurice Venice and wondered if he was sketchy, but he proved him otherwise by telling Wilhelm that he scouted the scarlet, Nita Christenberry who was now his wife. Venice had classified Wilhelm as the loser-type indirectly. Venice had talked him into fame and fortune, even giving him acting tips, which persuaded him to leave Penn State, even though his parents hadn't given him permission or blessings to. He always made decisions opposite of what he felt. He felt it was bad to go to Hollywood, but went. He wasn't going to marry his wife, but they ran off and got married. He wasn't going to invest money, but did anyway. When he auditioned for a screen test, Venice realized he was mistaken about Wilhelm and tried to get rid of him! Wilhelm later found out that Maurice Venice was bad news; he had connections but used them for bad things, landing him on the newspapers and trial cases. Wilhelm went under the name Tommy Wilhelm after moving to California, as a sort of alter-ego, his more successful/better side. He cast off his father's name, as well as the shame his father thought of him. Wilhelm feels as though he has sinned by changing his name, and now all he wants to go is get out of this dump he's fallen into and get a second chance.
Another problem arised: his rent bill; he couldn't withdraw money from his brokerage account and his father probably wounldn't pay it off for him. Wilhelm thought his father was greedy. Their relationship was not very good, as Welhelm often lost patience, and loss control of himself when speaking to his father, even though he normally did not willingly hurt any man's feelings.Wilhelm is convinced his father felt as though he was 'free' after the death of Wilhelm's mother, but perhaps this is because Wilhelm himself is in a difficult relationship with his wife, who refuses to grant him a divorce, but instead forces Wilhelm to support her and their two children. Wilhelm's father is a doctor, and noted that Wilhelm takes too many pills, such as stimulant, depressants, and more; that morning he took a Phenaphen sedative and a Unicap. As his father discussed with his neighbor Mr. Perl about Wilhelm's 'old job', Wilhelm gets disgusted with their fixation with money, even though he desperately needs some. Wilhelm had tried to please Dr. Adler that morning, but that didn't work because Dr. Adler (his father) was deep in thought; perhaps Wilhelm's own paranoia thought he was judging him in his thoughts. When Wilhelm start to repeat his troubles about his wife to his father, his father felt as though he was 'too indulged in his emotions'.
Quote:
But his memory was he, he could still separate what he had invented from the actual happenings, and this morning he found it necessary as he stood by Rubin's showcase with his Tribune to recall the crazy course of the true events. (Bellow 16).
Reaction:
I felt kind of bad for Wilhelm because most of his life thus far has been nothing but misfortune, and failure, and he realizes this. He realizes now that the reality he lives in were all mostly lies that he made up to fool himself. And now he tries to retrace his steps and see what his life has mostly been, which were failures. In the end of chapter 1, he begs for a second chance.
